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Auditions for "HOW TO EAT LIKE A CHILD"

Auditions for “How to Eat Like a Child” will be held at the Capitol Theatre, 415 S Main St., March 6th and 7th at 6pm.

SYNOPSIS: A hilarious musical romp through the joys and sorrows of being a child! Young actors give twenty-three lessons in such subjects as how to beg for a dog, how to torture your sister, how to act after being sent to your room, and how to laugh hysterically. The songs are charming, the pace is fast, and the jokes are delightful. “How to Eat Like a Child” is based on the Viking book of the same name by beloved author Delia Ephron.

Age Range: 7-17 years old

Cast Size: 15

Directed by: Brian T. Schultz

Tentative Show Dates: April 12th - 15th at 7:30pm & April 16th at 2:30pm

Director’s Note: Preparation is NOT required for auditions - all children will learn a song during auditions.

Script Check-out: K.O. Lee Aberdeen Public Library, or at the ACT office.

SCRIPT CHECKOUTS ARE FOR 48 HOURS. Please be sure to return scripts on time. All scripts need to be returned by March 5th.

Download PDF • 624KB

Here are the three songs that will be sung at auditions. Please review the lyrics below.


Everyone hates turnips

But grownups always eat them

Kids are much too smart

To let a vegetable defeat them

So you could eat your turnips like a grownup

Or you could drop ‘em in your napkin

Before they reach your mouth

And smuggle them to the garbage

Like a child, like a child, like a chi-chi-child

Like a child, like a child, like a chi-chi-child

Just do what you’ve got to do

And smuggle them to the garbage like a child


School is over

So here I wait (big sigh)

For my mother

Who, as usual, is late

Waiting, waiting

For a disorganized adult

Nothing’s more exasperating

Or more difficult


Why should a kid who has run out of gum

Have to beg for a ride to the store

Which by car is just minutes away

But on foot could take half of the day

And why can a grownup zoom off in the car

To a party that’s right down the block

And when even your pet gets a ride to the vet

Oh why should a kid have to walk

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